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P.S. I love you

2 Jul

First of a many movies on my bucket list. Today I saw “P.S. I love you” with my bf. I actually should have thought this through; it was night time and I should have picked a different movie, less depressing. As you can probably guess, I am posting this here tonight at 2AM in the morning because I can not sleep…due to post-depressing-movie-syndrome. #fml

So, here is the movie that we watched…

(trailer link):

(Movie link):

I can’t even begin to explain the agony it has brought upon me. Read the synopsis on wikipedia if you don’t wish to see it, but it was so touching. Basically, long story short, “A young widow discovers that her late husband has left her 10 messages intended to help ease her pain and start a new life.” – (IMBD)

Now, during the movie when I was with my boo, I didn’t cry so much…I don’t know I guess the actuality of it all didn’t hit me until a little after, when I got home.

I guess the thought of it all. I think it him me pretty hard, because the main protagonist and her husband reminded me a lot of my boyfriend and I. I mean, just the arguments they have, the kind of things she’s worried about in the beginning, and just in general their experiences, somehow I can really connect with them, and all that happens in the movie just really touches me where I feel it the most… if that makes sense.

I was talking to my friend about it, and she reassured me saying that my bf won’t die or anything and not to worry… but I guess it’s not even just that. Or… maybe it is? I don’t know. Just the thought of it all… really gets me depressed, even though the movie technically has a happy ending, it’s not like he comes back to life, right?

It also gets you to think… life is really unfair. And you start getting kind of paranoid at all the things that could possibly go wrong in your life. I just felt super in despair after the movie ended; almost as if… as if I just didn’t know about anything anymore.

“We’re so arrogant, aren’t we? So afraid of age, we do everything we can to prevent it. We don’t realize what a privilege it is to grow old with someone. Someone who doesn’t drive you to commit murder or doesn’t humiliate you beyond repair.”

The above is a quotation from the movie that a character says upon spying an old couple together happily. I guess, you could say I’m like that too. I often envy old couples in love, because it…gives me hope in a sense. Gives me something to hang on to, a beacon of hope if you will. I guess you could say, in this messed up world where people are always giving up on each other, when I see two people who have gotten through the hard times, put up with each other through each others shit and were able to stay together through thick and thin, I feel super warm inside. Almost like jelly.

I think if I ever were diagnosed with a terminal illness, I would do the same. Well, not exactly but the same concept; leaving little tidbits of me. But unlike Gerry, I would be terrified; terrified of being forgotten. I guess in that way I’m very selfish and self-centered, but I could not stand for my loved ones to forget about me and replace me…it would just be too much, the thought of it even.

This has just been a night full of deep thought and heartache. I guess it’s arguable that I think too much, and I need to loosen up a bit, but I truly don’t know what to say or think or feel at this moment in time. I just needed to blog it out, and so here I am.

The movie itself, I really loved. I think it’s such an amazing movie and it touched me to the core; the amount of love this man had for this one woman, the things they endured even after death; the reality the movie touches upon. They did such a good job of portraying such a difficult turmoil and I simply can not recommend this movie enough; it may bring me a night filled with tears, depression and provoke my over thinking, but it is definitely something I would watch again. It’s just one of those super memorable, super thoughtful movies! Something like 8/10 for me in terms of numerical ratings!

I’ll end this blog post off with a quote that really touched me… it’s basically the quote that almost ends the movie/the letters she receives:

“Dear Holly, I don’t have much time. I don’t mean literally, I mean you’re out buying ice cream and you’ll be home soon. But I have a feeling this is the last letter, because there is only one thing left to tell you. It isn’t to go down memory lane or make you buy a lamp, you can take care of yourself without any help from me. It’s to tell you how much you move me, how you changed me. You made me a man, by loving me Holly. And for that, I am eternally grateful… literally. If you can promise me anything, promise me that whenever you’re sad, or unsure, or you lose complete faith, that you’ll try to see yourself through my eyes. Thank you for the honor of being my wife. I’m a man with no regrets. How lucky am I. You made my life, Holly. But I’m just one chapter in yours. There’ll be more. I promise. So here it comes, the big one. Don’t be afraid to fall in love again. Watch out for that signal, when life as you know it ends. P.S. I will always love you. “

Please, don’t tell me that didn’t make you cry. I am actually crying as I type, my tears are dripping into my keyboard, what if my laptop water logs….

Thanks for reading. If you haven’t already, hope you decide to give the movie a watch!…



Valentines Day, the Philosophy Bunny and Family Day

25 Feb

SO! Semester 2 in school has officially started like a month ago (ok la, like first week of February… haven’t blogged in FOREVER! My apologies ;__; )

So anyway, this semester one of my subjects is PHILOSOPHY and let me just say, that class is INTERESTING. Two days in a row, my teacher cracked a real egg in class, to show one of the theories stating that, since one has to go half-way before going full-way, and you have to go half-way infinity number of times, technically it is impossible to move… and yet an egg will still fall and crack if you throw it.

^I took that from my seat 🙂 I’m serious, twice, and he did the same with his other classes, so like… 4 eggs gone to waste for PHILOSOPHY?? XD

^Up-close Eggster McEggsicle’s untimely demise.

Speaking of untimely deaths, this is not the only tragedy that has occurred in the philosophy classroom. Here’s the story of the Philosophy Mascot: Une Bunny

Day 1:

^That was the beginning of the Bunny. I found it on my desk randomly one morning, and got VERY excited. I asked my teacher about it, saying I love bunnies. He said “I drew that, knowing your love of bunnies” (tbh I feel like he may be trolling me, what do you think??) but yeah. I was extremely happy and tweeted about it even!

Day 2 and 3:

^THE BUNNY EVOLVED!! On day 2, I found that it had been changed. According to my teacher, it supports the theory that nothing is ever the same, and everything is in constant change. However, the bunny remained the same for day 3.

^To show my support for Bunster McBunion, I wore my Usamimi (ウさ耳)Bunny ears to school too! Met one of Mr. Leo’s friends that day though meow -.- Apparently I looked quite fob that day T_T fml fml fml

 Must impress Mr. Leo friends meow :/


Anywho, after the weekend, Mr. Bunny had been erased. In fact, it was questionable whether he was even there in the first place at all. My friend Illy and I had a mini-funeral for the beloved “Philosophy Mascot” that was, Bunnister Bunbun as we mourned. We then proceeded to draw 2 cats as replacements, but the next day both were erased from existence as well.

I was sad.

But then valentines day came! 😀

Mr. Leo and I weren’t quite planning anything — I didn’t expect anything from him, I was fine with that. I bought him some meiji strawberry chocolate, the apolo kind! Extra strawberry too!

Also bought him some cinnamon candy hearts that I was hoping we could eat together 🙂

Then I wrote him a card and a poem 🙂 I incorporated pokemon into it!! XD I think he liked it ^^ He’s my Nidorino and I’m his Nidorina 🙂 But he loves Charmander the best still! haha 🙂

I would share the poem but I feel like it might be quite private. Should have taken a pic of the little package I gave him but forgot — oh wells. Anywho, I was not expecting anything for V-day, since he said he wouldn’t really do anything. I was quite wrong!!

In my locker when I opened it for lunch, I found cookies and cream chocolate hershey kisses, a chocolate rose and a stuffed rose!! I was so surprised and happy!! As soon as I saw him I gave him the biggest hug ever!! 🙂 ❤

^All of them together on my bed 😀

That night, we also spent time together too ^^ I went over to his place for a bit, and we slept. Then we went to go eat some viet 🙂 Ate so much that night, felt so fat but felt happy anyway 🙂 Thanks for Valentines day Baby!

And then there were some random events in the middle not quite worth mentioning on my blog…

And then came FAMILY DAY! A national (I think??) holiday, where everybody gets a day off (well not everybody, but almost) so that they can spend time with their families! (Good idea right?? People need more quality family time…) The day before there was some family drama, so we could not to Yum cha as I had wished; instead we went for a Greek dinner for family night 🙂 Went to Mr. Greeks! So good, in fact I want to take Mr. Leo there one day.

I ordered myself an Original Souvlaki with chicken. As well we had some bread and calamari for appetizers! And we ordered an alcoholic beverage 😉

^Pretty picture of initial bread basket that came. Nom nom nommed that garlic bread.

^They kept giving us more and more bread baskets, each time with more bread and pita haha! They think we’re fatasses?? 😀

^Calamari 😀 Basically deep fried squid with the sauce?? It’s sooo good! I know it’s mad fattening but I just love it! Tasty.

^My dad trolling in the background. If you look closely, you can see it’s a picture of a cute little car decoration that I sent him LOL This drink, I don’t remember what it was called, but I do remember how delicious I thought it was! Mad love. Ever since my drink at Niagara, I love these sweet tasting alcoholic beverages. Mr. Leo can I get drunk with you one day please? o: Don’t wanna get drunk without him or someone I trust LOL Might do stupid things -.- Maybe I’m one of those stupid drunks fml.

^My Souvlaki ! I love fries okay, guilty pleasure…. and I LOVE Greek salad!! It’s one of my faves 🙂

After we stuffed ourselves with Greek delight, we went to walk it off at a Korean supermarket 🙂

I found some interesting things I’d like to share…


^So, I don’t know if you guys know what “Natto” is, but it’s basically a food product made of fermented soybeans. I love it, but this particular one disturbed me… If you can’t read it let me just say, the label says 「ぶっかけ」… Like, Bukkake. The food company named their Natto “Bukkake” …. if you don’t know what it means, please google it. DISCLAIMER: Not my fault if you are disgusted with search results. Yeah… I was like

Then, we bumped into a dumpling add in the supermarket…

HAHAHAHA!! Please tell me you find his face funny also!! The longer you look at it the more you laugh okay!! He should totally be a meme, his face is tooo meme-worthy mrow.

Okay! Done my interesting blogging for now! haha 🙂 Now just time for my random kamho pics that you don’t wanna see…

^Looks quite nice right?

^Me, trying to be sophisticated and sexy….failed orz

Thanks for reading my blog! Follow and comment! I appreciate each and every view I get ❤ 🙂


I Remember 2011 like it was just Yesterday…

1 Jan

HAHA! please don’t kill me for the overused title. #9gagthings did YOU spend New Years/the last day of 2011? Guess what? I actually went out on New Years… ! *le gasp*

Mr. Leo and I were gonna go downtown for New Years….but le parentals did not allow me… (-.-) I believe it was on account of it being much too dangerous…. or something. Even though I asked befo..anyway. Let’s not dwell on that XD

So, instead of hitting downtown Toronto, Canada, we decided to just chill and spend New Years together 🙂

As you may or may not know, I recently suffered from an allergic reaction to Benzaclin, (an acne medication containing benzoyl peroxide and clindamycin) which basically made me red and swelled up for the past week or so…as a result I felt mad ugly this entire period -.- Like it’s literally so sad and like…lizard skin 😦 And since makeup would probably irritate my skin even more, I was barefaced for new years too (actually, I was going to wear makeup but bf advised against it, ’cause he doesn’t like makeup). Then I tried to camwhore barefaced, which left me feeling like this:

^Le me, barefaced, the only thing saving me is the instagram effect of black and white XD

So…my bad on not being able to go Downtown 😦 So instead we decided to sleep most of the day LOL. I mean, yes we were looking forward to just going down the GTA together, but in a sense it’s more like..”it doesn’t quite matter what you do or where you do it…what matters the most of who you’re with”. So maybe it wasn’t that eventful, but it was one of the highlights of my year 🙂

I got an itouch awhile back with the front and back camera feature, so I figured I’d start putting it to good use this year! 🙂 Mr. Leo and I decided we’d take at least 2 pics a day for memories. He told me not to post these, I’m gonna post some of them anyway 🙂 What better way to note down memories than blogging them?? 🙂

So at about 7:30PM we decided to get something to eat ’cause we got hungry :3

^Me: Lets Kamhore!! Mr.Leo: …ok. Me: *snaps one* Mr. Leo: wait wtf…I don’t even look ready, in a beater -.-

^Mr. Leo: Okay, ready now. All he did was put on his necklace and a shirt ontop of his beater LOL. Me: dammit I wish I wore makeup…

And so we went to eat.

^He got. You can see his side is full of hot sauce LOL. I ate like half of that .

^I got 🙂 Singapore style yes?!?! One of my favourite even though it’s mad oily and curry included…. But I got full real fast ’cause I stole so much of his -.- Also too spicy for me to eat everything =(

Then headed over to FMP 🙂 There was some Asian countdown thing going on there LOL. We we’re kinda bored that night though, since there’s nothing to do #markhamproblems (yeah, I know it’s not twitter…I don’t care LOL)

^”Let’s Kamho infront of the x-mas trees!” “Okay!” *Scumbag Kat almost entirely leaves out the two trees supposed to be in the background of this pic…*

^ Mr. Leo: “Lemmie take a pic, it’ be like “heyyy I’m in the tv!!””

So while we we’re walking around FMP, we entered a mad-cute store Smart Maple 🙂 Here’s a random convo we had:

Me: So…you should learn some Japanese 🙂

Mr. Leo: ….nope.

Me: Kawaii! Remember what Kawaii means?

Mr. Leo: ….yes….of…course… *points at me* kawaii!

Me:…do you know what it means?

Mr. Leo: iunno, I don’t remember LOL

Me: Cute!! Kawaii! C’mon you gotta at least remember this word! *exiting store* OMG! kawaii! *points at cute charm*

Mr. Leo:….no

Me: eee? Kawaii kawaii! *points at something else* kawaii!

Mr. Leo: okay okay kawaii kawaii.

And so bf learned how to say cute in Japanese. Hope he remembers LOL it’s one of my favourite words to say XD

^…So I’ve made bf a sort-of 9gagger LOL. We’ll randomly pose in meme-poses. Can you guess which meme he was going for in this one?







LOL! We do this one the most! “ohh watch out! we got a badass (sometimes we’ll replace this word LOL) over here!”

“yo! pick up your phone!!” “I am I am!” “Why you not answering my calls?” “we’re on the phones together ;)”

“Let’s go outside I’m bored…”

“OMGG it’s too cold outside Mr. Leo D: I wanna go back in” “…fine, wait lemmie snap a pic”

^ “snap the pics for memories!” “ohhhkay Sir!”

^”Take a pic of our reflection!” *we both look at the pic” “omg sick! We look like ghosts!” “ghosties!!” *plays around with instagram effects*

^Yeah. Went home and randomly started decoing some of our pics 🙂 Has I a life? Yes. Yes I do.

New Years resolutions you ask? Why yes. Yes I have many. Here’s my list (so far). Rather than resolutions, perhaps it is more along the fine lines of not quite being a bucket-list, but close:

1) Lost at least 10 pounds. I can do this, I am most confident I can accomplish this task.

2) Rid myself of my chronic acne -.- I’m serious, I actually hate it so much and it bothers me! Also because I discovered, without acne, and if I am wearing makeup, my big forehead isn’t really that bad.

3) Learn more Chinese

4) Learn to cook

5) Blog way more often

6) Be the most amazing person I can be towards those I love.

That’s about it for new years! 😀 I hope 2012 is an amazing year for everybody. Let’s make amazing memories. Let’s all smile, it’s a new year!

Would love for YOU to comment and sub my blog! 🙂

-Kat the Nidorina

The very special someone :)

20 Nov

Soooooo. I’ve kept my promise 🙂 Blog about you by today!

Better keep your end of the promise! :3

I contemplated what to blog about when it comes to you. I don’t know. I don’t want to be overly cheesey and pour my entire heart out. Although…it would make sense to, considering this is a blog. hmmm….

I’ll start with horoscopes, since you tend to love them so much.

I got this off tumblr btw. I read it and reminded me instantly of you; Let me do a commentary LOL (My commentary will be in normal brackets)

LEO – The Lion
Great talker (Haha, I guess you are. But you don’t talk alot in class…). Attractive and passionate(Attractive yes. Passionate? I think so?). Laid back(Oh boyyy. Laid back is amazing, but sometimes I wish this wasn’t SO true LOL). Usually happy but when unhappy tend to be grouchy and childish(Kind of actually…haha. But it’s all good: you put up with my childishness 24/7, and I kind of like it when your childish. It’s cute 🙂. A Leo’s problem becomes everyone’s problem(Yeah…when you talk about a problem, I’m all like D: too). Most Leos are very predictable and tend to be monotonous(idk what monotonous is, but you are kind of predictable 🙂 “u goin to sleep?” “omg how d fuck did u know?” LOOL). Knows how to have fun(I do always have fun with you..) Is really good at almost anything(uhm…I’m agreeing with this because I presume whoever wrote this is a Leo him/herself, and I see the cockyness LOL). Great kisser(Thats for me to know :D).  Loves being in long relationships(hope so 🙂. Rare to find. Good when found.(I think I’ve found mine :)….)

I even did mine!

SAGITTARIUS – The Promiscuous One (k wtf I’m not promiscuous -.-)
Spontaneous. High appeal. Rare to find. Great when found.. Loves being in long relationships. So much love to give. A loner most of the time(LOLOLOL MY LONER HABITS! HOW DID U KNOWW?). Loses patience easily and will not take crap. If in a bad mood stay FAR away. Gets offended easily and remembers the offense forever( this implying that I’m sensitive? ’cause I’m sooo not!). Loves deeply but at times will not show it, feels it is a sign of weakness. Has many fears but will not show it. VERY private person. Defends loved ones with all their abilities. Can be childish often. Not one to mess with. Very pretty. Very romantic. Nice to everyone they meet. Their Love is one of a kind. Silly, fun and sweet. Have own unique appeal. Most caring person you will ever meet! Amazing in bed..!!! Not the kind of person you want to mess with- you might end up crying. 

I have no idea how true mine is. It might be. idk.

When I first met you, I thought for sure I’d never let myself fall for you. Guess I was wrong right? You make me want to… And I think I really needed that. Maybe thats why most people think you’re good for me haha. Honestly, I had no control over falling for you. (and cue here, I can hear you say something like, “what can I say? I’m soo good lookin” or something like that looool!)

Sometimes you drive me crazy, (you know exactly when LOL) but at the same time, I really think… you’re everything I’ve always wanted. And, it’s so hard for me to ever say it though, because you know: it makes me feel vulnerable. So I can never really say it out loud; I can’t even believe I’m blogging it. But I really care about you. A lot. And I hope that you care about me the same way.

Because I’m not sure since when it happened, but all of a sudden all these love songs? They became about you. You became the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing on my mind while I fall asleep. And as cheesy as this is going to sound, hear me out: all of a sudden, I don’t want to fall asleep at night, because I would rather be talking to you all night long. I honestly can’t think about sleeping without you on the phone with me anymore; it’s not even that we talk all night. One of us is usually asleep, but it’s just hearing you breathe on the other end, just your presence is something I’ve grown accustomed to,  and I can’t imagine sleeping without you anymore.

I guess you could say I do think about you a lot, a lot of things remind me of you, and you’re really important to me. You make life seem like a fairytale, and I don’t think I’ll ever not want you. And yes, I can be the biggest emotional wreck ever, and I apologize in advance. I’m working on it though. I am.

I know you don’t like reading paragraphs and life stories LOL. But then again, this is about you so you might not mind reading it. I don’t know. Hope you read through it though, and hope it makes you smile.

I just realized I wanted to post a pic of us. But then, we haven’t really taken pics together. ’cause your phone hates me and takes baddd pics of me, and you won’t camho with me with webcam 😦  I swear we’re gonna do it soon! 😀

10/11/2011 – I made a wish, you made it come true ❤

-Kat; Nidorina.